And the list goes on....

Whenever I have lots to finish, my mind become active on the lots of "TODO" I have been postpoing for ages. Sometimes however, I do have a terrific concentration and focus totally on what I am doing. Well currently I wish I could get my concentration back. While I wait for it, let me jot down the ideas that crossed my mind:

1. Writing a beautiful, interesting blog everyday.
2. Go for a nice biking ride.
3. Learn the music notes and practise every day , okay twice a week.
4. Play Tennis with little a and H.
5. Start focussing on the future and stop pondering about the past. In short, let things go.
6. Cook a new dish every weekend, okay once a month.
7. Start working on what I wanted to accomplish last year.

Though my mind is still wavering, I think I got enough boost by writing this to go back to work.
Sometimes, writing down goals makes one feel they have achieved them :) .(a little hallucination once in a while is good... )

Joy that is me

The names we love and things we love to do. Some of these never age with time.

I remember I loved being called Joy by my friends (My dad used to call me Joyce sometimes and I used to love that too, my dear friend Arc used to call me Zoya and I loved that too ) . I still love it so much that sometimes I feel like changing my name permanently to Joy. Maybe it is also because it give a nice feeling, an uplift , a sudden spurt of hope and happiness .

In my ealier workplace, I got once an email regarding some clarification and some bugs to fix. The From in the email was "Zoya", CC: Joy and To : "Jaya" (me). I attened to that email before any others. Just because all the names were so striking and they reminded me of fond memories of my past and people whom I love.

One of the many things I loved was going to a small library in a strip mall (In Delhi, when I was growing up there were no malls- only strip malls or shopping centres as we called them). The name of the store was "BookLovers" and the person in charge was a strict (khadoos) old guy. He was the only one in my area having the grand colletion of TinTin, Asterix/Obelix, Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew and Five Find Outers. I do owe him sincere thanks. But for him, I would have never relished all these collections .

I am still able to maintain my quest of reading by going to our township library. I can still feel the same thrill when I enter the library , seeing the books and possibility of me reading them. I remember when I was carrying my elder daughter, I used to devour books everyday to that extend that I took one to the hospital when I went into labor. Since this was my first pregnancy, I was much unaware of what to expect. In the Lamaze class and umpteen advices given from anyone in the street, I understood the mom-to-be needs ways to calm herself before the much-awaited moment arrives. They adviced me to do whatever I like - walk slowly, listen to music. So, I took their words and took with me what I thought would relax me and put my mind away from the growing pains. I was reading a book - "The Staggard Journal " and I was desperate to finish it.

Do you think that would have kindled my sweet little pumpkin's love for books? She loves reading and I love her for that (and for many other reasons).

PS: I have decided I am going to change my pen name to Joy .

A ship to sail ..... Friendship

I was working late last night when I got a scrap on my orkut from an old friend of mine. I surprised her by calling her up at midnight. It was a nice long refreshing talk revolving around old times, friendships, dreams, misunderstandings, human relations.

My collegue at work just commented how hard it is for him to keep up friends. He mentioned after sometime it becomes an "encroachment" and you need to keep "forcing" it inorder to maintain conversations.

I guess this is a typical example of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and God knows what both are doing on Earth!"

Each friendship has to be nurtured, blossomed to save it from becoming stale. I guess the same goes for love too. But the way two people perceive it makes all the difference.

I remember
the old times together

I miss
the shared bliss

I yearn
our conversations

I do hear the phone
But on the otherside there is no one

I do want to call
But I know there is a wall

I think I value
our friendship more than you

As there is not a day
I do not think of you

But I do want to know
If you have let our friendship go

I wish you could say
Our friendship is here to stay.

Life is a pupose

I do realise
What is nice and what is wise

I do understand
The ground on which I stand

I need my mind to teach
That the stars in the sky are out of reach

But my mind do want to streach
And feel the star with light touch

How do I tell my mind to perceive
The life is as it conceives

I need to accept
That the life is for a purpose

That I cannot come to yonder
Without making things unorder

Mystery thy name is life...

ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः तत् सवितुर वरय्नेयम भर्गो देवस्य धिमाही धी यो नहा प्रचोदायत

Learning to live...

Is it okay to be sensitive?
to things which do not look positive

I do get perturbed
even though I try hard not to be disturbed

Anger does come to me
I just don't show it as it should be

Doesn't mean all is fine
and I have nothing to whine

I still need to learn
how not to yearn

How to let go
when everything is a big no.